CARE Relationship Skills
The Bible states: “…we are ambassadors for Christ …” 2 Corinthians 5:20
When someone accepts Jesus Christ as his personal Saviour, and is baptized, a special Commission is received from God (See Matthew 28:18-20): the person becomes an ambassador for Him. Someone who will honor Him, represent His character, government and purposes, and act in harmony with them in this world.
Christians have been given a great work to do. We are to assist people who live in this world in a variety of ways. Some of these include:
•Revealing the true character of God
•Presenting the message of grace, and salvation, through faith in Jesus Christ
•Teaching the importance of loving obedience to God and His Law
•Warning of judgments to come upon all who choose to fight against Him
•Helping others, in preparation for eternal life
Bound up in these statements is a wide array of responsibilities, including studying, teaching, counseling, understanding, helping, loving, and caring for, those we desire to bring God’s blessing to. Some of these points may not seem as important as others.
Teaching and counseling people sometimes seems more essential than trying to understand them. But what may appear minor in importance can greatly affect their human relationships, and their future.
To be successful in fulfilling God’s commission there are things developing ambassadors need to know.
In this workshop we will be examining the subject of human interaction as it relates to the home, the church, and the world.
Speaking specifically of the church and its members, again, the Bible says: “… there should be no schism in the body; but that the members should have the same care one for another.” 1 Corinthians 12:25.
The same principles of life should be seen in our families, in God’s church, and in the world also, which is often more difficult.
But, what exactly is this CARE?
CARE is:
Courtesy… Gracious politeness and helpful consideration of others.
“Finally, be ye all of one mind, having compassion one of another, love as brethren, be pitiful, be courteous…” 1 Peter 3:8
Attitude… A manner of acting, feeling or thinking.
A Bible illustration of an attitude in action:
“And Joseph said unto his brethren, Come near to me, I pray you. And they came near. And he said, I am Joseph your brother, whom ye sold into Egypt. Now therefore be not grieved, nor angry with yourselves, that ye sold me hither: for God did send me before you to preserve life.” Genesis 45: 4, 5
Respect… To show honour or esteem for someone, or something.
“Fulfil ye my joy, that ye be likeminded, having the same love, being of one accord, of one mind. Let nothing be done through strife or vainglory; but in lowliness of mind let each esteem other better than themselves.” Philippians 2: 2, 3
Enthusiasm… Zeal, optimism, eagerness to help and be a blessing.
“[Jesus Christ] Who gave Himself for us, that He might redeem us from all iniquity, and purify unto Himself a peculiar people, zealous of good works.” Titus 2:14
Examine the table on the page below. Print it out on your computer (or write the information it contains on a separate sheet of paper), and place a checkmark in the spaces you think best describe how people close to you (relatives, friends, church members, co-workers, etc.) seem to relate and act toward you, and toward each other, in the various ways listed. You might want to consider each group separately for your ratings in order to obtain a better overall idea of their responses as you view them from your own perspective.
Christian Relationships Rating Chart
Description: Excellent Good Fair Needs Improving
Courtesy ……………………………………………………………………………………………………………………
Positive Attitudes ……………………………………………………………………………………………………………………
Enthusiasm ……………………………………………………………………………………………………………………
Kindness ……………………………………………………………………………………………………………………
Understanding ……………………………………………………………………………………………………………………
Concern for Others ……………………………………………………………………………………………………………………
Appreciation ……………………………………………………………………………………………………………………
Christian Love …………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….
Which areas listed in the chart above do you think are most in need of improvement in the associations of your life?
These traits of character are necessary qualifications for service as God’s ambassadors.
They are sometimes overlooked. When this happens a series of problems usually begins.
When people are not as courteous as they need to be (both in and outside the family and the church), attitudes can change quickly (depending on the circumstances surrounding them). Poor attitudes follow. Enthusiasm for others (and the work that needs to be done) often suffers. Kindness, understanding, appreciation and Christian love are affected too.
Have you seen these things happen?
Let’s look again at these areas of Christian behavior, and ask some important questions:
1. Would you like to see people, as individuals, and as a church family, improve their behavior toward each other?
2. In what ways would you like to see people behave toward you?
3. Why do you think people have difficulty revealing good personal qualities in their character?
4. What do you believe stands in the way of improvement and progress?
5. Can you think of some changes that might be made in order to help people reveal character in a finer way?
6. Can you think of some things that you personally are willing to do to help establish better Christian relationships?
“A new commandment I give unto you, that ye love one another; as I have loved you, that ye also love one another. By this shall all men know that ye are my disciples, if ye have love one to another.” John 13: 34, 35
There is an article entitled, The Three Faces of Love, written by Ken McMillan.
In this article he stated that love has three different faces:
I love you if …
I love you because …
I love you in spite of …
The first face of love is expressed as the “if” face. If someone does or does not do something for another person it is seen.
An example of this might be: I love you if you do what I tell you to do; or, I love you if you don’t do something I don’t want you to do.
This love is conditional. It shows acceptance only as someone conforms to the will and wishes of another person (such wishes may be good or evil; but the key here is acceptance). It implies that if there is no conformity the love ends. Think about this face. Does it illustrate a true love, or not?
The second face of love “because of” is revealed in another way. It shows that someone is loved “because” of something… maybe because they look nice, or wear a certain style of clothes, or share the same thoughts and ideas, or… You can fill in some examples.
This love also appears to be conditional. If the motivating reason behind the “I love you because” face changes (if something would happen to change the way someone looks, or dresses, or another idea is presented that conflicts with someone’s ideas, etc.), then again the love comes to an end. Think about this face. Is this a true love, or not?
The third face shows love “in spite of” the way someone thinks, acts, dresses, appears, etc… It shows love no matter what happens, or doesn’t happen. It’s not conditional. It doesn’t make unreasonable demands on its receiver. Think about this face. Is this a true love, or not?
Which kind of love should people have for one another, and for God?
Which of these three kinds of love do you think God has for people?
I personally believe that there may be one more face to consider in this evaluation. It is the face that God shows us when we ask Him about His love for us. It has to be the best one for love, because it belongs to God. It’s the face that reveals that He loves us – because He does. It is His character. It comes from His heart. It is only a because love, because it comes from who He is. He loves us because He does. There can be no greater love than this.
In 2 Timothy 2:13 is recorded: “if we believe not, yet He abideth faithful: He cannot deny Himself.” And, 1 John 4:16 states, “And we have known and believed the love that God hath to us. God is love, and he that dwelleth in love dwelleth in God, and God in him.”
In John 13:34 Jesus said: “A new commandment I give unto you, That ye love one another, as I have loved you, that ye also love one another.” This is the very best way to show true love.
Caring and showing love for God, others and ourselves is everyone’s business. We need to understand better how to effectively share that which will help us develop good characters, and be a blessing to others. Good communication skills hold the key to success in this area.
This article was written and designed by Chris Teske for VisdaPoint.com
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